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Valentine’s Day After a Breakup or Divorce

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There are ways to get through the Valentine’s Day holiday and make the day more bearable.

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For many in Pinellas & Pasco County, Valentine’s Day is a day filled with love, flowers, and chocolate, but if you’ve recently experienced a divorce or breakup, you may not share the same joys of Valentine’s Day.  After separating, you may experience feelings of loneliness, anger, sadness, or even guilt on this day. You may also feel pressured to act happy or pretend that everything is fine when the reality is that you are still healing from a potentially traumatic experience.  However, you don’t have to suffer in silence or isolate yourself on Valentine’s Day. There are ways to get through the Valentine’s Day holiday and make the day more bearable. Here are some tips to help you deal with a recent divorce or breakup on Valentine’s Day:

  • Acknowledge your feelings. Don’t try to suppress or deny your feelings; your feelings are normal and valid. It is okay to feel sad, angry, or any other emotion that comes up after divorce. You have the right to grieve for your lost relationship and the future you had planned. However, don’t let your feelings overwhelm or consume you. Try to balance any negative emotions you’re experiencing with positive thoughts and actions. Remember that you are not alone and have the strength and resilience to overcome this challenge.
  • Practice self-care Valentine’s Day is a good opportunity to show yourself some love and compassion. Treat yourself to something that makes you happy, such as a massage, a movie or book, or an outdoor hobby. You can also pamper yourself with a nice meal, a bubble bath, or a new outfit. This Valentine’s Day, love yourself, and buy yourself some chocolate, flowers, or both, and enjoy your freedom and independence. You deserve to be happy and healthy, regardless of your marital status.
  • Reach out to your support network. You don’t have to spend Valentine’s Day alone unless you want to. You can reach out to your friends, family, or other people who care about and support you. You may decide to join a support group or online community where you can share your feelings and experiences with others who understand what you are going through. You may find comfort, encouragement, and advice from your support network and realize that you are not the only one who is struggling with a divorce this Valentine’s Day.
  • Avoid triggers & comparisons –  Valentine’s Day can be full of triggers and comparisons that can make you feel worse about your breakup. This Valentine’s Day, you may see couples holding hands, exchanging gifts, or posting romantic pictures on social media. Whether you turn on the radio or TV, you’ll likely be bombarded with love songs and romantic movies that may be a trigger for you this Valentine’s Day. Sometimes, an ex may wish you a Happy Valentine’s. These experiences may trigger negative emotions and memories or make you compare yourself to others. To avoid these triggers and comparisons, you can limit your exposure to social media, change the channel, delete or block your ex’s contact, or do something else to distract yourself. You should try to focus on the positive aspects of your life, such as your achievements, your friends, accomplishing your goals, or participating in your favorite hobbies. Remember that your worth and happiness are not dependent on your relationship status. You have many other things to be grateful for!
  • Make new plans and memories.  Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a day of mourning or regret, even after a divorce or breakup. You can use this Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to make new plans and memories that are meaningful and fulfilling to you. You can create new traditions such as volunteering, traveling, or learning something new. You can also celebrate other types of love, such as the love for your children, your pets, your friends, or yourself. Even if you don’t have much going on this Valentine’s Day, you can look forward to the future and set new goals and dreams for yourself. You can use this day as a chance to start a new chapter in your life and embrace the possibilities that await you after your breakup.

Valentine’s Day can be hard for those who have recently gone through a divorce or breakup, but it doesn’t have to be a day of misery or despair. You can cope with your emotions and make this day more manageable and enjoyable by following the above tips. Remember that you are not alone, and you have the power & potential to heal and grow from your divorce. Find love and happiness in yourself and those around you, and you can still enjoy Valentine’s Day in your own way.

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